| Divorce |
|
|
|
|
listen to the message Divorce is a serious break. Deuteronomy 24:1-4
1. written, clearly stated bill of divorce 2. bill had to be served, personally, put into the other’s hand 3. person divorced was sent from the home—a physical and emotional rupture! 4. after a remarriage and subsequent divorce there could not be reuniting with the first spouse. Matthew 19:3-10—a conversation between the Pharisees and Jesus about divorce and remarriage. See also Matthew 5:31-32—if there is unbiblical divorce the parties are exposed to adultery! God’s intent for marriage is that it be a unique, one-flesh union, never to be broken. Genesis 2:18-25 establishes the basis for marriage. Marriage is a covenant between two people. It is much more than a sexual union.
Malachi 2:16 says. “The Lord God of Israel says, ‘I hate divorce.’” A person going through a divorce, “I hope God is looking the other way so that he doesn’t get angry with me.” Rather, God hates the cause of divorce. There is sin behind every divorce and He hates that sin. He hates the results that often flow to children and other injured parties of divorce. In the Bible divorce is not prohibited nor commanded, but greatly discouraged. It is allowed, but never demanded or required. Divorce is never necessary among Christians—allowed, but not necessary.
In the Old Testament divorce was allowed even for reasons other than adultery (Deuteronomy 24:1). (Note that if adultery was the reason, according to Old Testament law, the offending party would be dead!) In the New Testament, the notion that Joseph had to divorce Mary was apparently very appropriate (Matthew 1:18-19). Also, check Matthew 19:3-10. Divorce is not unforgivable. Even God participated in a divorce proceeding (Jeremiah 3:8). In the book of Ezra he recommended that men who had married foreign godless wives be divorced from them (Ezra 10:11, 44).
In fact, not every divorce is sinful. Divorce seems to be allowed if there is . . . --a pattern of sexual immorality by one partner (Matthew 19:3-10) --an unequal yoke—and the non-Christian decides to leave (1 Corinthians 7:12-16). Don’t provoke! --desertion—practically, divorce is in order --physical abuse—certainly separation is in order But don’t be looking for a loophole! Some have blown it—divorced for convenience, incompatibility, etc. And perhaps a lot of this happened before you even knew anything about Christ. Should you go back and try to correct all that stuff? No! Stay where you are! (1 Corinthians. 7:17, 20, 24) Even unbiblical divorce (convenience, incompatibility, “we just don’t love each other any more”) is not so horrifying as to show through the cleansing blood of Christ. We shouldn’t wink at, ignore, or simply denounce divorce.
Divorce is not just the problem of those divorcing. It is our problem—the problem of our society, the problem of the church. To the divorced I say . . . You are valuable! God is still anxious to use you. You will not be put on the shelf. Don’t sacrifice anything for recognition, affirmation, reassurance.
You are worthy of respect! Don’t lower your standards. Many will expect you to. A lot of “singles” stuff is bad. Your need for community will be met either in singles bars or social clubs or in the church. And if we here at Calvary ever lose our vision to provide community for the divorced, then drive 100 miles to find that community in a Bible believing church. God loves you—even if you have totally blown it. (see Psalm 89:30-34) All persons “properly released” may be remarried. 1 Corinthians 7:27, 28a—“divorced” in NIV is “loosed”, same word as “unmarried” in the next phrase. Some have suggested that a remarriage is a continual state of adultery. That even after the divorce the original couple are still married in God’s sight. Not so!
Remarriage may often be desirable. “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9) What does “properly released” mean? Ask these questions-- Were you divorced for the wrong reasons? Have you asked and received forgiveness? Is there evidence? Is there still the possibility of reconciliation? Has the former spouse remarried? Could the former spouse become a Christian? If the possibility is still there, don’t remarry. If your former spouse remarries, it takes the possibility of reconciliation away. To those considering remarriage . . . Understand the issues Why did you marry in the first place? Why did it fail? What role did you play in the breakup? Why am I thinking remarriage? Be careful here. Insufficient reasons--I can’t manage these kids by myself; I can’t support myself; I need someone to take care of me; I just want some good home cooking again; I’m afraid to be alone. Am I “properly released?” Confess your part in the collapse Take time—wait until the parties are really ready for marriage. Realize you will be vulnerable—marrying on the rebound Be sure to marry someone who belongs to the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39) For too long there has been a growing underworld of persons displaced from Christian fellowship by divorce and remarriage. We need to find ways to restore them without lowering our standards for marital fidelity. Is there life after divorce? Yes! Tearless, conflict free? No. But both those within and without divorce need to practice humility, repentance, compassion and love. Wherever you are, search for a way through, not a way out! |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|